Module 3 Reflections: 1) The lowest healthy score in my assessment is Pillar. I have recently made some significant changes in my life having to do with pulling back from my business, planning an extended stay in Europe, and my commitment to this Uzazu training. While I clearly recall the strong Pillar sensation that accompanied me as I that set these changes in motion, my current experience is of a return to uncertainty and second guessing and concern for the future. My other balanced states with lower scores are a three-way tie of Cradle, Field, and Neutral. I considered myself a champion senser but here I am struck by the fact that sensing while holding context, of either Self and Other, is challenging for me. My guess is that I am not bringing a strong Sponge or resonant Bridge to the Cradle and Field. I drop what I have and move on, a little distracted, a little fragmented. This seems reflected in an insecure Neutral. I am encouraged, just by writing this reflection, that the miasma of generalized worry is not some existential state but simply the current pattern. Developing a more solid sensing in Cradle, Field, and Neutral will be part of addressing the need for a more empowered Pillar. 2) My most imbalanced Modes are an insufficient Pillar and Channel.These Modes mirror each other, one in Self and one in Other. It makes sense that a reluctance to step into my own authentic self-authority in Pillar would diminish my capacity to collaborate easily with others. I see this playing out in my life as I observe a kind of approach-avoidance in my community engagements. Pillar and Channel share two dimensions in which I are somewhat blocked: Up or Acting in the vertical/Mind dimension and narrow or Inner awareness in the lateral/Awareness dimension. In my daily life perhaps this is a call to increase my commitment to the projects I have undertaken. But any re-invigorated commitment needs to come from a clarity about my actual state of being rather than the superimposition of an externally imposed schedule. I am using the image from class of ”bringing myself along” as I step into action. To stay in touch with what is actually going on in me, or between us in the case of Channel, rather than going vague and then just going through the motions.

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