After the live session on experiencing balanced and imbalanced modes, I did some self-observation as I went through the marginally stressful experience of a post-op visit for routine cataract surgery. Though my assessment indicates that I am more apt to imbalance toward insufficiency, my felt experience in my contacts with staff was that I lean too far in. I desire an intensity of connection and reached for it with questions, conversation, jokes. Though the responses are convivial and just fine, I found myself feeling as if I’d missed the connection. Could it be a matter of perception? I do know that my past conditioning has me equate intensity with attachment so I could be reading a balanced connection as somehow insufficient. Hence I would asses myself as withholding. A corrective to this might be to tune in to sensing so I could more accurately read what is actually going on. Thoughts? I look forward to seeing the material on assessing the assessment.

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